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2 min Read
Published May 19, 2013

A Word from Our Villain: Altruism Doesn’t Exist

Imagine my surprise when the Blue Beacon said she was low on inspiration and asked me, the villain, to fill in. Normally I would have said no, but I thought it was time I explained my insidious plot and why I keep sending her messages.

I’m not here to take over the world or commit a series of bank robberies or anything silly like that. I’m a humanist. I’m here to help people, just like you. I’m not the bad guy here, but as I said in my first broadcast: You make me sick.

Everyone does things because they want something. Anyone who tells you otherwise has something to sell. At least I’m honest with myself and what I want. You silly “Do-Gooders” are just going through the motions, trying to feel better about your lives.

I work two jobs to try and pay off my student loans. When I go out and party it’s because I earn it. I survive to the end of the day just so I can stop pretending to care–and you expect me to give up my precious time volunteering? Just giving away my hard-earned money?

All you “heroes” want to do is make people like me feel guilty.

mr-saturday-nightCitizens of the Triangle, hear me now: When you see your precious “hero” helping others or volunteering, don’t join in. Don’t point and laugh. Just sit back and relax because you know something that she doesn’t–that no one else cares.

The Blue Beacon spends her days posing for pictures and smiling for cameras. How much longer can she keep up this mask of caring for those around her? It’s just a matter of time before the pressure crushes her and her mask breaks. And I can’t wait to watch it all happen.

I have never liked the term “evil.” Evil is bad for it’s own sake. The world is full of conflict, optimists versus pessimists, light versus dark, order versus chaos. The only people who stand up and call themselves evil are badly written children’s cartoon characters. I am merely being a human being, and I am looking out for myself. Just like the rest of you.

DON’T click on the Blue Beacon to Donate to her silly cause!

Rest assured, if you’re out there trying to “Do Good,” you’re only doing it so you’ll feel better about yourself. A good party will give you the same thrill. So stop bothering.

Be seeing you,

Mr. Saturday Night

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  • Mr. Saturday Night

    Mr. Saturday Night

  • Mr. Saturday Night is a Real Life Super Villain that came on the scene just after the Blue Beacon began her mission to volunteer across the Triangle. He believes in looking out for himself, neither hurting nor harming others, and often rises up to be the foil to Blue Beacon's message of inspiration and kindness. All my articles.

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