I may never understand what caused you to toss your best friend out of a moving vehicle, but hey, I’m just a dog. Maybe my brain doesn’t work the same way as yours.
I keep thinking, “Now who is going to catch the frisbee?” but you got rid of the one friend who would be there any time you felt like tossing something! And let’s face it, frisbees fly a lot better than border collies.
After five years of contemplating my dramatic expulsion, I’ve decided that I forgive you. First of all, it could have been much worse. I could have landed in the yard of someone who didn’t care enough to bring me to a fine animal rescue.
But most importantly: They say I’m a breed of dog that needs a job. It must be true, because I really want to make a difference in this world. Yet, if it weren’t for you, I might not have ended up in the loving home of my new adopted parents, who have entrusted me with some very important work indeed.
Like keeping the kitchen floor clean, for example:
Padding the living-room rug with fur for added comfort:
Keeping burglars, solicitors, squirrels, and the mail man at bay:
Making important deliveries:
And generally just keeping the family entertained:
Of course, much of this would not have been possible without a proper education:
They say if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. I’ve never been paid for what I do, so I’m not sure that really applies here. But I do love to volunteer! In fact, my voluncareer has really taken off lately.
For instance, last year I modeled for a fashion show:
And I’m in the running to represent Activate Good, our local volunteer center, as their official mascot!
I’ve even taken up tweeting @Toby4Mascot.
Even if the squirrelocalypse comes tomorrow, I will have led a fantastic life. So I forgive you. And even though I can’t be your best friend, your floor-cleaner, your guard dog, or your mascot, you can at least take comfort in knowing that your terrible decision didn’t result in a story with a terrible ending.